News to me

Okay, here's my top 10 list of rules for news organizations. Newspaper news is on the way out, with broadcast news on its tail. Cable news may be able to grab a large portion of that audience, but the internet is certainly the end game. But, as we head to the future we need to make some serious changes.

1. No more Kool-Aid references. Drinking the Kool-Aid is an astoundingly crass reference to a horrible mass suicide in Guayana in1979 by a group of cultists lead by Jim Jones . The idea is to compare people who are perceived to be strongly Republican or Democratic in political philosophy to these confused and misled people who died crinking cyanide laced punch due to blind adherence. Also the Kool-Aid people must be tired of being reminded of a tragedy they are linked to, but had nothing to do with.
   
2. Stop using the phrase Jump the Shark. This is a reference to an episode of Happy Days where the "Fonz*" jumps over a shark to prove some point of honor that has been lost in the history books, but the point is that the show had overstayed its welcome. To even understand this reference you have to be massively old, or at least have watched several seasons of Happy Days on TVLand. Enough Already!!
   
3. ______Gate. Watergate was a valid name for a scandal since a portion of the scandal occured within the Watergate Office complex. Since then any time a journalist wishes to be clever they just slap Gate on the end of whatever controversy is happening that week. This is no longer works and is just the product of lazy minds.
4. Who are the elite media anyway? If a couple of million of people watch your TV show or listen to your radio broadcast you are the elite media. Stop grousing about it.
5. No more Al-Quaeda #3 guy is dead stories. Another Arabic name we have never heard of whose death we are claiming is a victory in the war on terrorism. What about the names we have heard of -- Ayman al-Zawahiri, Mullah Omar and Osama Bin Laden.
6. No more Bin Laden is dead stories. No more we know where he is stories. No more he is on the run stories. There has not been any credible information on him in years.
7. Also not dead Fidel Castro and Kim Jong Il. Until you have some real information stop publishing those rubbish rumors on the front page.
8. Until there is some concrete evidence, no more stories about Natalie Holloway, Caylee Anthony, or Madeline McCann. How much more additional misery can you pile on these families?
9. Are we still in Iraq? This was a huge story for years, but now that we are appparently having some success there seems to be little interest in the media to report it. How about a couple of positive stories?
10. And on a lighter note, the Philadelphia Phillies have won the World Series!! It would have been nice to get a day of headlines on this like other teams, but this great story went away way too quickly.

* FONZ hyperlink is a weak joke, but a worthy cause.

It's the economy, stupid!!!

Some random thoughts on the recent election. I don't usually agree with James Carville but the title here is totally appropriate for the current situation.

Sorry there's been no updates in a while, but the whole election thing got kind of boring once John McCain got the Republican nomination and the Democratic side was no longer fun once Hillary was out of the race.

You might not believe who I voted for if you know me, Barack Hussein Obama. More on this later...

About the Hussein thing. You should not be able to make fun of a president's middle name. Now if you will excuse me I need to go see the latest Oliver Stone movie -- Dubya. Get over it.

John McCain is not George Bush. For a guy that has spent his career reaching across the aisle sincerely over his career, this man got absolutely no credit. A class act, a true patriot and American hero certainly deserved more credit than was given him by the left.

That being said, he has been a U.S. legislator for almost 30 years and somehow managed to not see the financial disaster looming on the horizon. John Kerry, Ted Kennedy and Ted Stevens among many others share the blame on this issue.

Sarah Palin is hot. She spoke a couple of miles from where I work and her motorcade passed within 10 feet of me a couple of weeks ago. The Saturday Night Live parodies of her were fun and in the spirit of their normal satire, but I just never got the extreme hate for her on Bill Maher's show.

Joe Biden is not hot. But who the hell votes for vice president anyway? Also another career inside the beltway guy who did not see the economic crisis coming.

The Economy. One thing I learned while earning my business degree is that the more you know about the economy, the less you know about the economy. Also, two economists looking at the same data will almost never come to the same conclusion about its meaning. Attitude and outlook seem to mean more that anything else when people are deciding where to put their money and maybe a positive message might help move the stock market in a positive direction.

Obama. A couple of points here. I don't believe he is the socialist antichrist that the far right seems to see. Cigar Dave, who has a weekly radio program about cigars and right wing values (and sometimes fills in for Rush Limbaugh - the unquestioned king of talk radio) put on a disgusting display of disrespect for his fellow Americans and showed overall poor sportsmanship. He said about the election that it was the first time in his life that he was not proud of his country. Talk radio spent a good deal of time talking about Obama's associations - William Ayers, Reverend Wright, etc at the expense of issues that certainly merited scrutiny - the economy, health care, Iraq, education, terrorism to name a few. If what you are selling isn't selling its time to move on. Plenty of subjects other than his Facebook friends list to discuss.

Race. It is an amazing time in our history when a black man can hold the highest position in the most powerful country in the world. Good luck and God Bless.

And in closing, there is a unique challenge ahead for the next president and some incredible problems that will need to be addressed. Whether Barak Obama is up to this remains to be seen. For those who believe that there is a divine power which guides our destiny, you must think that everything that happens is part of a plan. If you don't, there is another election in 4 years, get busy now!

I am the Random Pinhead and I approve this message

Christmas wish list for the presidential candidates

Since Conservative news outlets have ruined Christmas by pummeling anti-Christmas idiocy in our governments, schools and corporations, thereby producing a dearth of humorous stories of PC morons banning Nativity scenes, Christmas trees, Santa, Rudolf, Mr. Hankey, I have had to switch gears on what to write about during this Holiday season. As you are well aware, the 2008 Presidential race has been in full swing since about Wednesday, November 3, 2004. The 40 person debates have certainly been interesting, but really haven't told us much about the candidates. As the first couple of primaries and caucuses get underway, we will learn much about these people, mainly from the mud they will be flinging at each other. But in the spirit of the season, I hope to throw out some good cheer with some wishes for each of the candidates for Christmas.

• To Hillary Clinton - I wish you a better fashion choice than the litany of pant suits you seem compelled to wear. I understand that the choices are limited and the guys can put on any $50 suit and look pretty much like the rest of the pack, but surely there must be other options
• To Mitt Romney - I wish you some cool. You need to chill out and not look like a guy who wears a suit to the beach
• To Dennis Kucinich - actually, I think he already married his Christmas present. Pretty good score for a guy that I thought was Ross Perot with a greasy black rodent stapled to his head
• To Rudi Guiliani - I wish you could go back in time and not attend so many parties wearing dresses. You are not a very convincing drag queen.
• To Barak Obama - I wish you some cosmetic surgery. Come on, lets get those jug handles on the side of your head pinned back. The Prince Charles look just isn't presidential
• To Mike Huckabee - I wish you a better last name. Sorry, I just picture this guy -------------------------------------->
  
• To John Edwards - I wish you a clue. Time to get out of politics and get back to chasing ambulances
• To Ron Paul - I wish you some more supporters. I don't agree with your platform but the supporters you do have are some of the most enthusiastic I have seen in any campaign and are definitely not Republican party automatons
• To the rest of the pack. I send you my holiday best wishes. Go home. Enjoy the holidays with friends and family. Watch some football. Stop spending millions of dollars on a race you won't win while pontificating about fiscal responsibility.

Silent Night Holy Night Gallery (Apologies to Rod Serling)

We offer for your consideration the United States Constitution.
A document much ballyhooed in its staunch support of the separation of Church and State. This principle is wheeled out at this time of year to ensure that no Nativity scenes desecrate the lawns of court buildings, Christmas trees will not be displayed to offend the eyes in our Universities or airports, and Christmas carols will not assault the ears in "holiday" assemblies in our public schools. The Constitution that I am familiar with makes no such assertion, and in fact does not even contain the word Church. Or Religion. In fact the only reference to religion is that the oath for public office does not need to be religious in nature. (Article VI - I am paraphrasing here).
Exhibit 2 the Bill of Rights. Some pertinent text does appear here. The founding fathers did feel a need to broach this subject and did it with the first part of the First Amendment and I quote "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion". This is a very clear and profound statement that strongly asserts that your government is not going to tell you how or whom to worship. Now this has been stretched to include that any display that relates to Christmas on government related property can be construed to be an endorsement of a certain religion and therefore should be banned. Upon further inspection, however, there is more to this First Amendment. It continues on to say " or prohibiting the free exercise thereof". This is also pretty powerful language. It seems that banishing displays of decorations for Christmas, which is a Federal Holiday explicitly violates that principle.

You can't spell Holiday without Ho!

Great early Christmas story about an effort to stop Santas from saying Ho Ho Ho by our Australian friends who usually avoid this type of idiotic shananigans.

Top Christmas videos ever!

1. Christmas Vacation - if you don't think this is funny there is no helping you.
2. How the Grinch Stole Christmas - Boris Karloff is incredible as the narrator
   
3. A Charlie Brown Christmas - Fantastic soundtrack by a jazzman with the unlikely name of Vince Guaraldi (look it up)
   
4. Scrooge (musical version) Albert Finney and Sir Alec Guinness make this rock
   
5. Scrooge (Alistair Sim version) Scary
   
6. Bad Santa - this film actually has a heartwarming ending but is not for everyone!
   
7. Holiday Inn - easily the best family oriented holiday film featuring Bing Crosby wearing blackface
8. Miracle on 34th St (original) - Any other version is just evil
   
9. Year without a Santa Claus (Cold Miser and Heat Miser)
10. Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer - Who doesn't like Yukon Cornelius and the Abominable Snowman

Not making the list
It's a Wonderful Life - not so much if I have to watch this
Any "made for Lifetime" Christmas movie
The Santa Clause movies
A Christmas Story -I hate Peter Billingsley Sooooooooooooooo Much!

Merry X-mas

If you are offended by the lack of Christ in this Christmas post, chime in. If you are offended by the idea of Christmas, we want to hear from you as well. Nothing helps you get through holiday season stress better than 1st Amendment debate. Anyone unfamiliar with the First Amendment to the Bill of Rights should try Googling GYHOOYA. But we want to have fun here and if you are looking for something therapeutic to get through the next 6 weeks here is a start.