Christmas wish list for the presidential candidates

Since Conservative news outlets have ruined Christmas by pummeling anti-Christmas idiocy in our governments, schools and corporations, thereby producing a dearth of humorous stories of PC morons banning Nativity scenes, Christmas trees, Santa, Rudolf, Mr. Hankey, I have had to switch gears on what to write about during this Holiday season. As you are well aware, the 2008 Presidential race has been in full swing since about Wednesday, November 3, 2004. The 40 person debates have certainly been interesting, but really haven't told us much about the candidates. As the first couple of primaries and caucuses get underway, we will learn much about these people, mainly from the mud they will be flinging at each other. But in the spirit of the season, I hope to throw out some good cheer with some wishes for each of the candidates for Christmas.

• To Hillary Clinton - I wish you a better fashion choice than the litany of pant suits you seem compelled to wear. I understand that the choices are limited and the guys can put on any $50 suit and look pretty much like the rest of the pack, but surely there must be other options
• To Mitt Romney - I wish you some cool. You need to chill out and not look like a guy who wears a suit to the beach
• To Dennis Kucinich - actually, I think he already married his Christmas present. Pretty good score for a guy that I thought was Ross Perot with a greasy black rodent stapled to his head
• To Rudi Guiliani - I wish you could go back in time and not attend so many parties wearing dresses. You are not a very convincing drag queen.
• To Barak Obama - I wish you some cosmetic surgery. Come on, lets get those jug handles on the side of your head pinned back. The Prince Charles look just isn't presidential
• To Mike Huckabee - I wish you a better last name. Sorry, I just picture this guy -------------------------------------->
  
• To John Edwards - I wish you a clue. Time to get out of politics and get back to chasing ambulances
• To Ron Paul - I wish you some more supporters. I don't agree with your platform but the supporters you do have are some of the most enthusiastic I have seen in any campaign and are definitely not Republican party automatons
• To the rest of the pack. I send you my holiday best wishes. Go home. Enjoy the holidays with friends and family. Watch some football. Stop spending millions of dollars on a race you won't win while pontificating about fiscal responsibility.

Silent Night Holy Night Gallery (Apologies to Rod Serling)

We offer for your consideration the United States Constitution.
A document much ballyhooed in its staunch support of the separation of Church and State. This principle is wheeled out at this time of year to ensure that no Nativity scenes desecrate the lawns of court buildings, Christmas trees will not be displayed to offend the eyes in our Universities or airports, and Christmas carols will not assault the ears in "holiday" assemblies in our public schools. The Constitution that I am familiar with makes no such assertion, and in fact does not even contain the word Church. Or Religion. In fact the only reference to religion is that the oath for public office does not need to be religious in nature. (Article VI - I am paraphrasing here).
Exhibit 2 the Bill of Rights. Some pertinent text does appear here. The founding fathers did feel a need to broach this subject and did it with the first part of the First Amendment and I quote "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion". This is a very clear and profound statement that strongly asserts that your government is not going to tell you how or whom to worship. Now this has been stretched to include that any display that relates to Christmas on government related property can be construed to be an endorsement of a certain religion and therefore should be banned. Upon further inspection, however, there is more to this First Amendment. It continues on to say " or prohibiting the free exercise thereof". This is also pretty powerful language. It seems that banishing displays of decorations for Christmas, which is a Federal Holiday explicitly violates that principle.

You can't spell Holiday without Ho!

Great early Christmas story about an effort to stop Santas from saying Ho Ho Ho by our Australian friends who usually avoid this type of idiotic shananigans.

Top Christmas videos ever!

1. Christmas Vacation - if you don't think this is funny there is no helping you.
2. How the Grinch Stole Christmas - Boris Karloff is incredible as the narrator
   
3. A Charlie Brown Christmas - Fantastic soundtrack by a jazzman with the unlikely name of Vince Guaraldi (look it up)
   
4. Scrooge (musical version) Albert Finney and Sir Alec Guinness make this rock
   
5. Scrooge (Alistair Sim version) Scary
   
6. Bad Santa - this film actually has a heartwarming ending but is not for everyone!
   
7. Holiday Inn - easily the best family oriented holiday film featuring Bing Crosby wearing blackface
8. Miracle on 34th St (original) - Any other version is just evil
   
9. Year without a Santa Claus (Cold Miser and Heat Miser)
10. Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer - Who doesn't like Yukon Cornelius and the Abominable Snowman

Not making the list
It's a Wonderful Life - not so much if I have to watch this
Any "made for Lifetime" Christmas movie
The Santa Clause movies
A Christmas Story -I hate Peter Billingsley Sooooooooooooooo Much!

Merry X-mas

If you are offended by the lack of Christ in this Christmas post, chime in. If you are offended by the idea of Christmas, we want to hear from you as well. Nothing helps you get through holiday season stress better than 1st Amendment debate. Anyone unfamiliar with the First Amendment to the Bill of Rights should try Googling GYHOOYA. But we want to have fun here and if you are looking for something therapeutic to get through the next 6 weeks here is a start.

Random Pinhead Blog FAQ

1. What is the Random Pinhead Blog? Well I just heard about this internet thingy and it occurred to me that the one thing it was missing was people who would occasionally put their thoughts out on a website about politics, airline food, Dancing with the Stars, NASCAR, etc. Here are mine.
2. About politics - Independent with a natural inclination towards anarchy, but in reality the slightest leaning right of center.
3. About airline food - Rarely seen in the continental U.S. these days, but I once had a fantastic breakfast on a 45 minute flight between Columbia and Panama. Not rushed and some nice fresh fruit. Why can't our airlines do better than the third world?
4. About Dancing with the Stars - meh. (more on this later)
5. About NASCAR. NASCAR rules! and needs to be added to this websites dictionary so the spell check stops underlining it in red.
6. About meh. Meh is a word that is being seen on the internet increasingly. Its proud origins trace back to a Simpson's episode a few years back. Meh is a word that is used to reply to a query in a way that expresses a complete and utter indifference to the question being asked, an unwillingness to express an opinion one way or the other to the extent that you are reluctant to expend a complete syllable in reply, and just a soupçon of derision that the question was asked at all. Also needs to be added to the blogspot.com dictionary.
7. About the layout. Working on it